That’s What Self Love Feels Like

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do” is one of my all-time favorite quotes. Eleanor Roosevelt was talking about looking fear in the face and she’s talking to you too. You must heal, forgive, release the dysfunctional pattern or relationship, get clean from your addiction, start taking care of yourself and figure out what you want and who you are.

Actually, that’s not true.  You can keep doing what you’re doing.  You can continue to minimize your wants and needs.  You can continue to not use your voice.  You can continue in your mess, your misery and your drama.   Sadly, it will only get worse.  Like a terminal illness, it will progress and become more miserable and toxic if not treated.

The toxicity doesn’t just want you, it has its eye on your kids (or people that look to you for guidance – your patients, your clients, your partners, your employees, your readers, your siblings, your friends etc.).  If you are not living fully, you are teaching your children and others not to live fully.  Remember, they do what you do, not what you say.  If you aren’t living your values, you aren’t fooling them.   If you don’t break the cycle of dysfunction, it will be your ultimate legacy to your kids.  (That’s why you have to do the work because your parents did not do theirs).

This is not to make you feel guilty.  It’s the dose of truth that you already know.  It’s the wake-up call that you keep pushing the snooze button on.  It’s that still small voice that you keep stuffing down.  It’s okay – you’re okay, you’re here and you’re still reading and that’s huge.  You wouldn’t be reading this if you were not ready.  You can do this.  You must do this – not because I or Mrs. Roosevelt says that you must – because deep down, you know you must.  Take a deep breath.  That’s what it feels like to be awake and alive.  That’s what self-love feels like.  You’re now on the journey to getting it back so you can feel it more and more often.  Welcome back.

Here’s your tool:  Say the quote to yourself, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” What is the thing you think you cannot do?  What came up?  Now you have your thing. (By the way, it’s supposed to scare the crap out of you and it will be challenging – that’s why you’ve been ignoring it for so long).  Now you know what you need to do or need to work on or need support with and that’s where “must” comes in.  Like a dog does not give up on a bone, do not give up on your “thing you cannot do.”  Then, finally, once you get that goal or the goal changes, repeat as needed.

Ginkgo Leaf

Elizabeth Kupferman is a counselor in Southlake, Texas (Dallas/Fort Worth area) dedicated to helping women overcome depression, grief, and anxiety so they can find happiness and achieve their dreams.

Creative Commons License "That’s What Self Love Feels Like" by Elizabeth Kupferman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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Elizabeth Kupferman, RN, LMHC, LPC

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