Category Archives: Functioning

More Than Tears: Task II

This is Part 2 of a 6 Part Series on the Tasks of Mourning by J. William Worden. But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean YOU have to think about DOING the tasks. I believe that your psychological immune system is already hard at work doing these tasks.
Task II: To Process the Pain of Grief

If I were to ask you to show me a picture of someone processing the pain of grief, my guess is that you show me a picture of a woman crying. Don’t feel bad because this stereotype was socialized into you. This is why you are out there on your own right now, because our society didn’t teach you shit about who grieves (everyone does except sociopaths – even some animals grieve) and how grief impacts us. Continue reading

Accepting the Unacceptable: Task I

This is Part 1 of a 6 Part Series on the Tasks of Mourning by J. William Worden. But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean YOU have to do more work. I believe that your psychological immune system is already hard at work doing these tasks without your help. (Disclaimer: That is not how Dr. Worden presents them, it’s how I think of them!!).
Task I: Accepting the Reality of the Loss

It seems straight forward, right? You know he’s dead or you were with her when she died. But even when it happens and you witness it with your own eyes, there is this weird feeling like it didn’t happen. That truth that he or she actually died is so shocking to our system that our psyche has a hard time making it real. Continue reading

Why You Can’t Get Grief Wrong

You really, really don’t need to worry about how you’re grieving. You can’t get it wrong. Grief is simply your reaction to your loss. Let’s say that one more time. Grief is your reaction to your loss. What does that mean?
1. Grief is Your Reaction

It means that you don’t need to give a fuck about what anyone else thinks about how you are grieving. Are they obsessed about your reaction to the last movie you saw? How about to your reaction last birthday? I know these are ridiculous questions, but what I’m trying to help you see is that grief is your personal reaction or response and no one else in the world will have that exact response because it’s yours and yours alone. Grief is a ongoing and evolving personal experience not an event or a thing that is predictable or that someone can judge any more than they should judge your personal experience of the steak you ate last night. Continue reading

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