If you are looking to stay miserable, upset and frustrated with the problem you're facing, the best thing for you to do is to complain about it. Complaining is THE #1 way not to solve a problem. In fact, complaining is diametrically opposed to solving a problem. Even worse, complaining has you convinced that you are solving your problem. Complaining is quite the hoodwinker.
Usually when we think about the phoenix, we think about the rising from the ashes part. It's such a powerful symbol of hope.Recently, I found myself sitting in the ashes - covered in soot. There's a quote that pops into my head at these times from Marianne Williamson's phenomenal A Return to Love that goes something like " the only thing worse that having to say "Oh God, I can't believe I did that" is having to say, "Oh God, I can't believe I did that.....Again." Yes, this trip to the ashes was my own doing.
There is surviving or there is thriving. There is keeping busy or there is experiencing your life.
There is post-traumatic stress or there is post-traumatic growth.
There is getting bitter or there is getting better.
Some think the sickness, accident, death or trauma was the most challenging part. Others might think the grieving and living without him or her is. Who are we kidding? It's all a complete and total nightmare. But, what's interesting is somehow we know how to survive the worst. We instinctively know how to dig in deep and just fucking get through it. We know how to shut down if we need to and we have our lifelong coping mechanisms. We all have our own ways of zoning out avoiding our feelings and the terrifying reality of our situation. But learning how to live just might be the most challenging part.