If you are looking to stay miserable, upset and frustrated with the problem you're facing, the best thing for you to do is to complain about it. Complaining is THE #1 way not to solve a problem. In fact, complaining is diametrically opposed to solving a problem. Even worse, complaining has you convinced that you are solving your problem. Complaining is quite the hoodwinker.
Usually when we think about the phoenix, we think about the rising from the ashes part. It's such a powerful symbol of hope.Recently, I found myself sitting in the ashes - covered in soot. There's a quote that pops into my head at these times from Marianne Williamson's phenomenal A Return to Love that goes something like " the only thing worse that having to say "Oh God, I can't believe I did that" is having to say, "Oh God, I can't believe I did that.....Again." Yes, this trip to the ashes was my own doing.
We all know we are supposed to count our blessings and all that jazz, blah blah blah. We’ve heard it all before. Gratitude Shmaditude. But this is science, ya’ll. Not some woo woo, you’ll feel good if you keep a gratitude journal and don’t forget to draw hearts all around it – this is the real deal. Check out this research.
“I’ll Never Trust Anyone Again!!!” We’ve all said it. Usually, it’s cried out dramatically in tears while running to our bed (the hand on the forehead is optional) or right before we take our hit of Ben and Jerry’s ready for our night of DVR’d numbness. How adorable!!! Actually thinking we can turn trust off like a faucet. Here’s the deal - if you plan to never trust anyone again, head to a deserted island because if you are in a relationship of any kind, trust is involved. And here’s more crappy news, humans are imperfect and therefore, it’s only a matter of time before one of them lets you down again.
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do” is one of my all-time favorite quotes. Eleanor Roosevelt was talking about looking fear in the face and she’s talking to you too. You must heal, forgive, release the dysfunctional pattern or relationship, get clean from your addiction, start taking care of yourself and figure out what you want and who you are.
You can also stop looking to a "someday" when you are skinny enough, rich enough, smart enough, talented enough or when you know all the right people or have all the right letters behind your name. Your Amazing Life isn't going to be mocked by your low-self esteem.
"The Real Apology" is a three part apology originally proposed by Randy Pausch in his "Last Lecture." When you offer a "Real Apology" you don't just say you're sorry -- you also take full responsibility for what you said or did and offer to do something to make it up to the person you are apologizing to.
We simply cannot live our potential while we are harboring resentments against ourselves and others. But, it's important to know that the practice of forgiveness is actually an act of self-interest and not about another person at all.